Parenting is one of the greatest jobs that we will ever have. It is amazing to think that we are given the responsibility and the privilege to raise children, that God has given us either through natural birth, or through adoption. It is just the best thing ever! Of course, it is also one of the hardest things ever, as there is no holiday pay (or pay of any kind for that matter: although depending on where you live, the government may give you allowances); there is no sick leave, and it is intense for the whole 24/7 period, 365 days per year. And so it is vitally important that you are given the best advice possible in your parenting endeavours, so that you become the most effective parent possible, for the good of your children, who will be affected by us as parents for the rest of their lives (for good or for ill).
Don’t spoil your children.
Contrary to what we may feel at the time, giving children whatever they ask for is really not a good thing for them. To put it another way, spoiling a child is giving them whatever they want, whenever they want. And this leads them to think that they are the centre of the universe, where they deserve whatever they desire. Such an attitude is incredibly selfish and antisocial, and leads to great difficulty in building and maintaining healthy relationships with people. Instead, it is important that you teach your children the value of getting things that they deserve, whether through hard work, or good behaviour, as opposed to mere whim and desire. Studies have shown that if you teach your child to not give in to their desire for instant gratification, but hold out for rewards that follow patience and hard work, then they will be much more successful in the work place, able to keep persevering with difficult tasks when other people have long given up.
As is appropriate, explain your reasoning to your children.
Children are every curious little beings. As they grow up, they go through stages where they ask ‘why’ to things. They want to know how the world works, and thus they want to know why you treat them the way that you do: why you get them doing things that you ask. And so in situations like these, it is better to explain the reasoning behind them, in an age appropriate way. Don’t just let your reason be ‘because I said so’. If you child can grasp hold of the reason behind why you do the things that you do, then they will more likely be willing to do those very things. Your children will respect you a lot more if you explain the reasons you have them do certain things.